In the continuing saga of man versus machine, my latest nemesis is the automatic garage door opener, which is anything but automatic. Now, I don’t mind so much the upstairs television losing vertical control and resisting the repeated pushing of the power button on the remote control because once I go to all the trouble of turning it on by pushing the button on the TV, I can always just listen to the sound and try to make some visual sense out of the flickering images. Nor is it too difficult, occasionally, having to open the back of the toilet to make sure the recalcitrant flapper has formed a seal over the flush valve after jiggling the handle. The electric garage door opener is a much crueler taskmaster. Like the other devices, there doesn’t appear to be any rhyme or reason to when it will work as expected. So I have to break into the garage and reprogram it each time it refuses to lift open. When it kept working for about a week, I hoped it was the result of exercising it regularly but I eventually realized that its performance problem was more mental than physical. In order to get my bike out this morning, I had to venture through the rain forest that is the small dew covered tree and tall weeds on the side of the garage and pound out the window with my fists, catching it before it crashes to the floor. Then comes the part that is gymnastically challenging, dangerous and ridiculous as I jump into the small, two by three foot rectangular opening, lower myself, head first, into the garage putting my hands on the pre-placed wooden stool and slowly attempt to do the splits upside down as I bring one leg to the floor at a time. I’m getting better at it with practice.
Thursday, tonight, Ghost Shirt does Dan Dougan's Listening Hour at the Gateway Film Center and Jim Maneri is at Dick's with a cavalcade of Columbus' finest jazzbos.
Friday, One of my faves from Brooklyn, Hamel on Trial, does an early $9.99 show at Rumba, Wholly Craft on N. High in Clintonville hosts the CD release of Super Desserts at 7 PM. Skully's has Mojoflo's CD release with The Floorwalkers and Stretch Lefty. Grassinine does "Guiness and Grass" at Byrne's, Bourbon St. has Dane Terry, Coltrane Motion and Wolf Ram Heart. There is a benefit at Circus for Alix Reese with Vug Arakas & the Stallions, The Razers and Stucco Jones.
Saturday, From Noon to 9 PM Monkeys Retreat, 1202 N. High, has its final party and sale, pot luck & grill, with music all day including The Mendelsonics at 5 and No. 1 Cat at 8. The Arts Festival in the Discovery District has The Randys at 1:20, This Is My Suitcase at 3:10 and Miss Molly at 4:55. Bourbon St. and The Summit tag team to present the Rama Lama Fa Fa Fest with what promises to be a great collection of underground "DIY" bands and Necropolis.
Me and my machine. mark